Tiger Takes Temporary Retirement From Golf

In a gripping 14-minute revelation that captivated millions worldwide, Tiger Woods humbly implores for absolution following his astonishing downfall. With heartfelt sincerity, he expressed remorse for his “selfish and imprudent” actions, yearning to reconstruct his fractured personal life and redeem his tarnished reputation.

Recognizing the paramount importance of his marriage and children, the father of two acknowledged the need to regain equilibrium and inner harmony, determined to preserve the precious treasures that define his existence. Woods also revealed that he needed some time off from golf.

Next: Bye-bye sponsorships!